Total mortification

I can not tell you how completely mortified I was today! Just playing everything back in my head brings tears to my eyes still, and maybe that is because I am pregnant, but either way it still hurts me just the same.

My morning was fantastic and I was on the ball getting everything done that I need to and I was happy to go get Isaac and bring him home from school at 1:00. I made sure to grab a squirt bottle for Isaac to spray on himself in the back of our super hot no AC car because it was so super duper HOT today.

So, the first thing I do is make a mistake that later comes back to haunt me, I park my car super far from the front door so that I can be in the shade so the car won't be any hotter then it has to. I get to school, walk in, collect Isaac's stuff, and then try to get his attention and tell him it is time to go. I tell him I brought him something for the car (the squirt bottle, I thought he would like that) then he says something really cute....
"Is it candy mom?"
"No."
then he gives me a super cute face and says
"Good mom, cuz I made a , a lollie pop ghost today!"

So, super excited he goes to find it and this is were our trip turns to total disaster and mortification. So, As I am opening his lunch to see what he ate, and by the way NOTHING but some strawberries and it is 1pm and he had breakfast at 8am, I begin to hear him start to cry and whine. I go over to the little ghosts where he is and he says his ghost is gone and proceeds to cry and throw himself on the ground. The teacher comes over to tell him that someone must have taken his by mistake and he can take anyone he wants. But, there is no way I am letting him take some other kids art. So, I find his ghost with his name on it thinking he will be happy but he is not! Total hell breaks loose. He begins screaming that he doesn't like that one and is throwing himself all crazy on the ground and the whole time EVERYONE is watching. You could see everyone backing away. All eyes were on us with his extremely loud screams echoing in the boys and girls club. The kids and their parents were all looking but at the same time tyring not to(this is a parent participation preschool so there are always parents there oh and also there is another school in there too)! I start to feel like a total ASS. I have no control over my kid and it is SO embarrassing! I try talking to him and then threatening him and there is no way to snap him out of it. He is in the zone. Then I just have to pick him up with my huge purse in my hand along with all his crap and carry him outside.

So, I am caring him and he is screaming at the top of his lungs and HITTING me so I am thinking to myself "What the hell am I suppose to do?" because moms are suppose to know what to do with there kids right? Well I don't! So, I throw him in time out on the side walk because my car is all the way down the hill in the shade. So, everyone is walking out and trying to avert there attention. I am so mortified and I am tiring to keep it together. So, that didn't work and he is screaming and throwing things so I have to throw him over my pregnant ass shoulder and carry him to the car and this is where I loose it and begin to hysterically cry. He has totally defeated me! I am not only mortified but my self esteem is completely crushed. I am so hurt I can't even be mad.

So, I sit him in the hot car and make him drink some water cuz it is so hot and then I make him eat his sandwich because he is probably starving and hope that will calm him down some what, which it kind of does. Then I drive home crying, feeling like a complete looser, mortified, defeated, and crushed.

We get home and I am unable to focus on anything else. I just cry remembering everyone's faces of horror at how my kid was acting. These mom's I see all the time and work with at the school. We both eventually fall asleep and I am useless for the rest of the day. My husband comes home early and rescues me and just go to bed. let's hope tomorrow is a better day. I am still lost as what to do in that situation. John says kids have meltdowns all the time, but he wasn't there to see this one. I don't think I have ever seen another kid act like Isaac did. That makes it all the worse. I am like a deer in the head lights when this happens. All I can do is freeze and roll over in my head, "OK what am I suppose to do here? What would a responsible mother do in this situation?" Yeah well it never works out in my favor. HELP SUPER NANNY! Any suggestions? I think I will go cry some more.